Maybe it's because I don't have a lot of experience doing it, but putting yourself out there for a relationship -- especially when it's still early and it's transitioning from only a possibility to a "possibly" -- is gut-wrenching.
When things seem all happy, sunshiney, and flowery meadows, it's no problem.
You ride high on that wave.
But when you deal with the inevitable issues that come up, like exes, sex, and checks, then the wave can dip you really low.
And in my case, especially where it pertains to sex.
Sex only fucks things up.
Sometimes I think I'd be better off ignoring my feelings, forgetting everything about who I am and my past, leaving my family and friends behind, and going off to train to become Jason Bourne.
Cuz beating the shit out of dudes like that, and with no conscience like that, sounds pretty good sometimes, especially right around that low wave stage.
Incidentally, I don't have actual fist-fighting experience, either.
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Sex is the fun part! Exes and money just sucks. All relationships should start with both parties being "men in black" beamed so they forget all of their exes. I think I may be on to something!
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