"What's up?" "Snot much."

It never ceases to amaze me that we simply sit back and accept when people pick their noses.

Sure, we don't accept people hitting it raw, all barefingered like a kid or something, but wrap a Kleenex condom around your index finger, and all's fair.

At work.

At church.

At the bus stop.

At the strip club.

Okay, maybe not at the strip club. Some places are sacred. Plus, if the dancers see you doing that, even with a Kleenex, you'll only end up with the flat-chested ones who can't dance vying to have your dollar bills stuffed in their g-strings.

That's because the hottest strippers who dance the sluttiest are also the classiest.

And they're on to something.

Nosepicking is nosepicking, regardless of whether you're using a tissue or not.

Let's stop pretending there's a difference between getting all up in it unprotected and busting out the Kleenex.

Go thank a stripper.