Online dating is pretty much the same thing as shopping for a car online, except not only are you looking for a car, you're also a car being shopped for.
So just imagine that the Chevy dealership doesn't return your email about the Impala you picked out that was looking for a driver with no record of traffic tickets or accidents. The Impala passed on you because it guessed you might slam on the brakes at stoplights occasionally and do donuts in empty parking lots from time to time, despite the fact that, as it requested, you've never had a ticket or an accident.
It sucks.
But I guess that's how it is in real life, too.
The difference is that getting to know someone in real life is more like learning what the car's features are by driving it around for a while. As you drive it, you get to know how it handles, whether you like the stereo controls, whether the seat is comfortable, whether the brakes stick or not, and whether you think its seat warmer will keep your ass warm enough in the winter.
And that's not even the being-in-a-relationship part of the process.
But online dating?
It's not about driving and understanding the features at all. It's about how many of those features are listed on paper and how those features are perceived.
And when it comes to "on paper," a lot of the women on these sites are overly-picky bitches who don't realize "on paper" may not translate to real-life compatibility.
I bet they drive shitty cars, too.
If it's not some fairytale, idealistic bullshit about them waiting for their Prince Charming to arrive on a white horse, then it's about how a guy has to impress them.
I'm tired of that bullshit.
Yeah, it probably dates back to when cavemen were competing for the right to drag a cavewoman by her hair back to the cave by winning some dinosaur-clubbing competition or something, but there's more to matching up than a guy spending all his time impressing a woman.
That shit gets tiring. We're not really that charming. And women wonder why guys change after the relationship gets serious.
Plus, saying you need to be impressed is pretty pompous. Simply having a pussy doesn't give you that right.
I realize women are out there putting on makeup so they look all vibrant or whatever, and wearing high heels to make their asses bounce so men will notice them, or to make them feel good about themselves because men are noticing them, but that's just about attraction.
Everyone wants to feel attractive, but just because you look hot enough to bang doesn't mean a guy's impressed with you. You're just making him want to swing his club around.
I like swinging my club as much as the next caveman, but it's about more. How about you impress me? How about you keep my attention with more than just your looks?
But go ahead and still make me want to bang you.
Because if you're not settling, I'm not, either.
So just imagine that the Chevy dealership doesn't return your email about the Impala you picked out that was looking for a driver with no record of traffic tickets or accidents. The Impala passed on you because it guessed you might slam on the brakes at stoplights occasionally and do donuts in empty parking lots from time to time, despite the fact that, as it requested, you've never had a ticket or an accident.
It sucks.
But I guess that's how it is in real life, too.
The difference is that getting to know someone in real life is more like learning what the car's features are by driving it around for a while. As you drive it, you get to know how it handles, whether you like the stereo controls, whether the seat is comfortable, whether the brakes stick or not, and whether you think its seat warmer will keep your ass warm enough in the winter.
And that's not even the being-in-a-relationship part of the process.
But online dating?
It's not about driving and understanding the features at all. It's about how many of those features are listed on paper and how those features are perceived.
And when it comes to "on paper," a lot of the women on these sites are overly-picky bitches who don't realize "on paper" may not translate to real-life compatibility.
I bet they drive shitty cars, too.
If it's not some fairytale, idealistic bullshit about them waiting for their Prince Charming to arrive on a white horse, then it's about how a guy has to impress them.
I'm tired of that bullshit.
Yeah, it probably dates back to when cavemen were competing for the right to drag a cavewoman by her hair back to the cave by winning some dinosaur-clubbing competition or something, but there's more to matching up than a guy spending all his time impressing a woman.
That shit gets tiring. We're not really that charming. And women wonder why guys change after the relationship gets serious.
Plus, saying you need to be impressed is pretty pompous. Simply having a pussy doesn't give you that right.
I realize women are out there putting on makeup so they look all vibrant or whatever, and wearing high heels to make their asses bounce so men will notice them, or to make them feel good about themselves because men are noticing them, but that's just about attraction.
Everyone wants to feel attractive, but just because you look hot enough to bang doesn't mean a guy's impressed with you. You're just making him want to swing his club around.
I like swinging my club as much as the next caveman, but it's about more. How about you impress me? How about you keep my attention with more than just your looks?
But go ahead and still make me want to bang you.
Because if you're not settling, I'm not, either.
When I answered my wife's ad, I told her I wasn't really a knight in shining armor, but more like some guy who stole a suit of rusty chainmail off a corpse on the battlefield.
ReplyDeleteIt apparently worked.
See ... it's shit like you've described that's just made me give up all together.
ReplyDelete